Away from the sun (reblog)

A WORD FOR THE BROKEN, THE LONELY, AND THE SUFFERING..

There is hope

there is peace

there is light

there is understanding

there is acceptance

there is belonging

there is fellowship

there is promise

there is healing

there is comfort

there is newness of life

there is forgiveness

there is validation

there is happiness

there is laughter

there is joy

there is freedom

there is wellness

there is stability

there is warmth

there is appreciation

there are miracles

yes, these things are real

these things exist

they are attainable

 they are a gift

they are yours.

You have the key to all these things

you always have

they have been yours from the beginning

Believe it

seek it

know it

use it

share it

It is not meant to be kept to oneself or hidden

it is meant to bring love and unity to all.

It starts with you.

It starts with acceptance

It continues with your choice

It lives in your heart

It grows through your giving it away

without fear of losing it

of it not being returned.

Remember, it was yours from the beginning

BELIEVE.

Its NEVER too late……..

So lets begin and end on this note:

 

Bless everyone…..may the sun rise and set upon your precious face, and may the moonlight bring peace and comfort in your darkest nights……. Celeste <3

Green Man + Haiku

An awesome song, from one of my favorite bands. The lyrics are hauntingly beautiful, and I have added them below the video. I know this band may not be everyone’s cup of tea, indeed it is a minority….but I find they suit a secret part of me well, and their music is unique, speaking to me on an honest and human level. Actually, I have written a handful of poems while playing them in the background, if you can believe that.   If it’s not to your liking, cool. If it is, very good. But I think we all agree, the lyrical verse is quite stunning.

I also wrote a haiku, which was inspired by this song. Enjoy.

Haiku:

Standing at the precipice my eyes behold

sky shedding the cloak of twilight

as dawn’s first rays touch the horizon.

Spring won’t come, the need of strife
To struggle to be freed from hard ground
The evening mists that creep and crawl
Will drench in the dew and so drown
I’m the green man
The green man

Sol in prime sweet summertime
Cast shadows of doubt on my face
A midday sun, its caustic hues
Refracting within the still lake

Autumn in her flaming dress
Of orange, brown, gold fallen leaves
My mistress of the frigid night
I worship pray to on my knees
Winter’s breath of filthy snow
Befrosted paths to the unknown
Have my lips turned true purple
Life is coming to an end
So says me, me wiccan friend
Nature coming full circle
I’m the green man

Winter’s breath of filthy snow
Befrosted paths to the unknown
Have my lips turned true purple
Life is coming to an end
So says me, me wiccan friend
Nature coming full circle
I’m the green man
The green man

GORGEOUS!

Triumphant return

I close my eyes

let the quiet settle inside

let the peace guide me

to the still passages of the night.

A sound so sweet to my ears

so pure to reach my heart and soul

it’s sound waves tingle over my skin

suspending me in fluid air.

A tug on my hearts compassion

a momentary outburst

a flood of tears erupt

as I weep for something I have not seen

a thing yet lost and not found.

I feel the heartbeat of the universe

the breath of destruction and creation

the death and birth of nebulas and stars

such beauty and power found

in the cloak of the night.

I am no longer afraid

of this present darkness

the fear and turmoil have tried me

and failed…

there is nothing too horrendous and ugly

nothing so far from the reach

of a saving hand of grace.

On the balcony of my high tower

my eyes travel over the surrounding, majestic seas

a cold, bitter wind lashes my face and through my  hair

and threatens to slice me to my heart

as I think of the long voyages made

by many sailors and warriors

that have fought for and protected my life.

I will welcome their weathered and battle weary souls

with a feast and celebration in their honor

for their bravery and steadfast loyalty.

Should their heart’s desire be for home

I shall send them on their way with goodwill

and with my blessing they shall tarry no more

so far away from their homeland.

And if it be their desire to stay

they will be welcomed and rein as lords and ladies

over the lands they have fought to protect

with so much love in their hearts.

They have stood by me without wavering

not questioning my will

nor my words or resolve.

They kept me true in their hearts

in the most sacred of places

and saw me as I was.

They were never deceived nor surprised

my my intentions or motivations.

They are more than great warriors

they are forever my truest of friends.

~ Celeste ~

A tribute for mamma….forever in our hearts

^MOM^

Eleven years ago today, our mother was taken from us to be with Jesus and his angels. She was a victim of a violent crime that rocked our souls and shook our faith. But her death is not in vain, for we keep her alive and carry her memories and beautiful spirit in our hearts each and everyday. I only hope she can see how dearly she is missed and how much she is loved by so many. I dedicate this for you, mom, now that you are counted among the angels. Rest in peace, dear woman, until we are all united and together again on the other side. Sleep sweetly mamma.

And ask ye why these sad tears stream?
Why these wan eyes are dim with weeping?
I had a dream–a lovely dream,
Of her that in the grave is sleeping.

I saw her as ’twas yesterday,
The bloom upon her cheek still glowing;
And round her play’d a golden ray,
And on her brows were gay flowers blowing.

With angel-hand she swept a lyre,
A garland red with roses bound it;
Its strings were wreath’d with lambent fire
And amaranth was woven round it.

I saw her mid the realms of light,
In everlasting radiance gleaming;
Co-equal with the seraphs bright,
Mid thousand thousand angels beaming.

I strove to reach her, when, behold,
Those fairy forms of bliss Elysian,
And all that rich scene wrapt in gold,
Faded in air–a lovely vision!

And I awoke, but oh! to me
That waking hour was doubly weary;
And yet I could not envy thee,
Although so blest, and I so dreary.
~Alfred Lord Tennyson~

Weep not for me though I am gone into that gentle night. Grieve if you will, but not for long upon my soul’s sweet flight. I am at peace, my soul’s at rest There is no need for tears. For with your love I was so blessed. For all those many years. There is no pain, I suffer not, The fear now all is gone. Put now these things out of your thoughts, In your memory I live on. Remember not my fight for breath Remember not the strife. Please do not dwell upon my death, But celebrate my life. ~ author unknown

Though sometimes it hurts so much it is hard to breathe, we carry on without you on this earth….but our joy and peace is in knowing you are safe and at rest, and that one day we will be together once more….and this time forever. As I remember you today, I am thankful for all the memories and the laughs, the hard times and the tears….each and every second spent with you touched my life for the better, all of our lives…..so grateful that God chose you for our mother. We could not have asked for or expected a more wonderful and warm loving soul to behold and follow. Your love was so pure that it still reaches us through the veils of time and space, embracing us and encouraging us on, accepting us in your unconditional love. Thank you mom, for being the phenomenal woman you were, and no doubt still are. And thank you God for letting us have her as a mother to enjoy for the time we had her. I was angry with you for some time for taking her so soon, for in my selfishness I would keep her here with us to the end. But I know you love her too, and it was time to bring her home…..and the anger I felt is replaced with love and gratitude for the privilege of having these memories of her, and her blood that flows through my veins. So I end this tribute in silent reverie and loving contemplation, and will light a candle in honor of her life today.

We love you so much forever mom……..

Homecoming

Too many were the years that went by

too long since their last embrace

so many things had happened to them

now here they are face to face.

The heartbreak hurt inside his chest

the pain a wrench on her soul

so much time they could never get back

precious memories that circumstance stole.

For as long as he could remember

the smile on his face hadn’t shone

and she could not think of a time

when her heart hadn’t carried this stone.

They had went about their lives each day

and days turned into years

they both had carried much sorrow

they both had shed countless tears.

Now the hour at last had come

the time was finally here

she ran into his welcoming arms

he held her near and dear.

They looked over one another carefully

couldn’t believe how much they’d changed

they smiled and walked into his home

where stories and laughs were exchanged.

As I watch and listen in wonder

at the miracle happening before me

my heart so happy, my smile so wide

so thankful for the opportunity to see.

Two people finding each other after so long

the story a dream come true

and I think this is what heaven must be

a homecoming of family and life anew.

The gracious love of our creator

finally bringing us home

at last safe in the arms of his love

no more as orphans to roam.

This poem is based on a true story, one in which I was blessed to see and so proud to behold…..I have been so inspired and lifted up by this joyous occasion, that I had to write a tribute , and mark it in remembrance, sealing the time with words that will be read and felt, carrying on the memory into eternity and to the threshold of the city of our God and creator…….

Thank you for reading

~ Celeste ~

Positive Anger

Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.
Maya Angelou

When I first read this quote, it impacted me. But still, I could not quite put my finger on why. So, I have chewed on it for a while and have come to appreciate the wise words of this statement. Anger is a self preserving emotion. It’s function is to protect, defend, and to behold righteousness in truth. Anger is the most base of all human emotions, and in it’s purest form is an effective instrument that drives us to passion, motivation, and even success.  Anger is a purging agent that comes in and does it’s job swiftly, and then it is up to us how we will direct the leftover and excess energies of such a potent emotion.  Anger is not meant to linger. In fact, even Jesus said not to let the sun go down on your anger. Anger that is left to stew will continue to burn, the embers slowly transforming into a disease, a sickness, if you will.  I think most of us are intelligent enough to know when we have crossed the line, been angry over something for too long.  When it affects the quality of our lives and interferes with our happiness and peace, we know we have some soul searching and contemplating to do.

I have spent a lot of time being angry in my life, and to this day I still have to pull in on the reins of a fiery disposition. But coupled with love and forgiveness, it is possible to allow our anger to serve a greater purpose for our lives. Anyone who speaks with wisdom and conviction, I assure you, had put a great deal of time in subduing this emotion. They would not settle for a second rate existence of bitterness and resentment. They have creatively found ways to use the life force of anger in different aspects of their lives. We all have this capacity. We are able to be the masters of our anger, monarchs of our indignation. Believe it or not, you can still be angry in a respectful way and not lose your dignity in the process.

I encourage anyone feeling anxiety or depression to look for the root source of these symptoms, and reflect on how it got to be there. I promise you that anger will always be the initial source, coupled with the pain we felt when the emotions were born. Let’s give ourselves a gift, something of lasting value that has the potential to change our lives and impact our world. Seek out forgiveness when you have discovered the triggers. Putting in just a little time to search, discover, reflect and apply in this way will truly bear the sweetest of fruits. We hold the keys to our own happiness and the power to be victorious.  To me, that is the most amazing gift of all.

I have previously written a couple of posts that will compliment this message, and aid in advancing to the next steps. For more insight, here are the links:

celestealluvial.wordpress.com/2012/04/01/forgiveness-is-a-process/

http://celestealluvial.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/embracing-pain-a-transformation/

~ Celeste ~

Tangerine Sun

Hot, blazing orb of orange

a bright and happy glow

bursting throughout the forestry

imprinting the ground with shadows below.

An explosion of glorious color

the hues of fire and light

reflecting off drops from a recent rain

blazing topaz bear the leaves delight.

A shining sea of orange bliss

toward the light I began to run

and gave myself to the joy I found

in the light of the tangerine sun.

~ Celeste ~

Forgiveness is a process

Forgiveness is like faith. You have to keep reviving it.

~Mason Cooley~

Here are some secrets that I have learned when it comes to the issues of pain, the heart, and forgiveness…..

**Forgiveness is for you, not the other person. Holding resentment and unforgiveness hurts only you. The offender will never feel what we are going through, from the deep remorse to the murderous rage. And stubbornly hanging on to hate will not bring them to conviction or judgement, nor bring us to peace and contentment.  To hold someone in unforgiveness for something, no matter how much wrong they have done, makes us the prisoner, and a partaker of that same wrong. Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves for what we have been through…it is the only way to have real peace and lasting contentment.

**Often when we think about forgiveness, we expect the results to be instantaneous. We prematurely believe that if we are ‘good’ and do the ‘right’ thing, that we will be rewarded with all the gifts, wisdom and freedoms that go along with the act of forgiving someone, and are automatically released from its burden. But I think we all know that is not how it works out for us, and usually the opposite of this is what feels truest. We have made our own mistakes and offences, suffered at the hands of others, and made the choice to forgive….but still we struggle with the pain and feelings of resentment, of grief and anger.

**This is because forgiveness is a process. It is a choice that we make initially the first time. And then, we have to make it again and again when the painful memories and feelings surface. We may have to make this choice on occasion, from time to time, or in the beginning, we may have to choose forgiveness moment by moment amounting to numerous times in a day. There are even times we feel we just do not want to forgive. This does not mean that we are weak. But on the contrary, it takes strength and shows we are serious and determined to see ourselves free from the chains that bind us.

 **Our emotions do not always line themselves up with our will to forgive, and rarely support our choice to forgive. Chances are you will never be able to use your feelings as an indicator of weather you have forgiven or not. Memories are real, and the experiences that made them were just as real, and not easily erased. And they shouldn’t be. For no matter how terrible or traumatic, or maybe even seemingly petty that past event was, those things help make who we are. We can stay in bitterness over it, or we can move ourselves along and live free of the inner turmoil of self infliction.

**Forgiveness is an opportunity for growth. It does not have to be a crippling and gruesome experience. Often we are so hard on ourselves, we cannot see what progress we have made. We may feel guilty or inadequate in God’s eyes for not being able to forgive in the way he does, or in the way we thought we should. We may feel as though we have missed the mark somehow. Relax a little, give yourself room to be many things in the healing process. Sort it out gradually. No one says you have to accomplish total forgiveness in a certain way, or in a certain amount of time. As I said earlier, this healing virtue is for you. And not everyone is the same, and we all experience the process a little differently and in different timing. But one thing is the same for us all….it all begins with a choice. You choose forgiveness, and you keep choosing it daily, no matter what you may feel. The pain may never totally disappear, but in time, it will lessen, and you will see your personal growth, gaining victory one small step at a time.

**The hardest person to forgive will always be yourself. It is so important and life changing to accept in ourselves the things that are hard to accept, the things we have said and done that we deeply regret. Think of it this way. A child or family member we dearly love has made a terrible mistake, one that has hurt not just themselves but others they love. You see their pain and turmoil, and you long to impart to them the forgiveness that you have sought out for them in yourself. You so desire to see them move on and begin living again, learning and maturing from the wrong they have done. The pain you feel from seeing them in their pain, is how our our own spirit grieves over us when we are in a tormented place….the same way the Father feels for our sufferings. He longs to extend that compassion and mercy to us and help us move away from the dark side of the tribulation. But we can only do this for ourselves. So extend to yourselves the same love and mercy that you would someone you dearly love….for chances are someone is still hurting from watching you suffer, and longs to see you live again. Make yourself this friend within yourself. You are every bit worth it, and the fact that you are alive and breathing is proof enough. Now, you just have to walk in it and bear witness to the miracles that will follow………………………

Feel free to ask any questions, or seek friendly assistance or advise from me anytime.  You may contact me at celestealluvial26@gmx.com …

Namaste,

Celeste

The light of your love

Oh, what dreams are woven

on the hem of your garment

what stories are told in

the vast expanse of sky.

What love is whispered

from the breath of thine lips,

drenched in red from the

fruit of the vine in your glass…

sweet, dewy drops shine upon them

and add to the honey that flows

from the words of your mouth.

What volumes are felt through

the smiling of your eyes

as their light pours into mine

giving me hope and affirmation.

Oh what music is heard, that has

never been heard, at the sound

of your laughter,

playing joyously and triumphantly

throughout the heavens.

What worlds collide together

as I feel the warmth

of your arms embrace

encompassing my entire being.

What words are forgotten

as your presence transforms me

from dark to radiant, from hidden

to revealed…

unraveling the mystery of creation

from the very beginning of time.

What hopes do not compare

nor beauty confound…

In you I am made whole

and made one with all things ,

 a unique work of art

crafted by your gifted hands.

Oh what dreams are far exceeded…

for all roads lead to you.

In you it begins and ends,

the final resting place and long awaited prize,

our eternal habitation,

where all things belong, and are fulfilled,

sustained by the light of your love.

~ Celeste ~

Haiku

Exploding lights inside my mind

splintered visions of peaceful pastures

as you piece together my broken dreams.

Embracing Pain…a transformation

In my young life, I  have found that although pain is real, and we all experience it throughout our lives, how we view it and treat ourselves by it matters….when pain presents itself to us, we can embrace it, welcome it and accept it, as loving a child, therefore giving us the ability to let it go properly and when the time comes, allowing it to grow us and transform us in a positive and lasting way….or we can self inflict our pain, trying to avoid, deny, or fight it, robbing ourselves of the opportunity to learn and earn peacefulness and wisdom….because we hold on too tightly to the pain, too close to our hearts, feeling like we deserve it somehow, or that it came to us as a punishment for something we have done.

So then we punish ourselves all the more, and it becomes an instrument of torment, and unhealthy resources for our souls to draw from, making our souls sick and left feeling empty. So the next time pain knocks on the doors of your heart, open it, welcome it in, accept it and embrace it with all your strength….you will ease and accelerate the healing process for yourself, and become a means of comfort for others around you that are hurting, showing them a lighted path in the darkness. There is nothing greater than extending your love and help to another suffering soul….and you will gain the satisfaction of making a difference in the world around you.

And never forget to be patient in the storm….time itself is a healing virtue….but as stated above, you have power over the outcome of your soul. Things are always changing, and the storm will subside as well. Never, ever exchange your hope and faith for laying down and giving up…although there will surely be days you feel like doing just that. But life will continue on, and so will you….you are capable of more, and have more strength than you could ever hope to think you possess…..and this I know for sure.

~ Celeste ~

A poem I wrote that accentuates this message:
http://celestealluvial.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/smile-through-the-tears/

Smile through the tears

When you know for sure you’ve had enough

and your heart has had all it can stand

In your pain remember to smile through the tears

embrace your own heart as a friend.

When the sting of pain and agony

squeezes your heart, takes your breath away

Hold on tightly with all your might

Do not to hopelessness yourself betray.

When the wounding of grief is all you can see

and your mind is filled with endless screams

take this to heart and know for sure

it cannot forever defile your dreams.

In the midst of a thousand sorrows

as you walk through shadows so black

the power of deliverance is in your hands

as you continue to smile and never look back.

The pain must remain with you

but lessens each passing season

just remember to keep smiling

each day find just one small reason.

Healing will certainly come 

giving peacefulness through the years

and the light will surely lead you

as you smile through all the tears.

~ Celeste ~

Morning Glories

I posted this song a while back, it is one of my favorite piano pieces. But as I was listening to it this morning while gazing out my window at the rising sun, I received the words for this poem I have written below. The song really sets the feel for these words. This was a special and very real experience for me, and now I share it with all of you. I hope you enjoy and are blessed by the message. ~ Celeste ~

As the sun gently awakens on the horizon

warm golden tones of light begin to permeate

the blue black velvet of night sky

and slowly saturates all it touches

in a welcoming glow.

The thick white fog that appears is magical

resting its presence like a peaceful blanket

as it hovers over the field of clover.

A little flock of birds fly up through the fog

stirring it with a breeze from their little beating wings

causing gentle rolling billows of movement from within.

As the light of the sun fully breaks through

it is as a flaming jewel of perfect beauty shining in my eyes

perched against the bluing sky in all its power.

And as I gaze at the sight

it reflects this power back into my soul

so that I feel the flaming jewel rising

from deep down inside

dispensing its light into every curve and corner

finding and filling up all lonliness, darkness and despair

with its healing properties.

A tear escapes, then two or three

for I am one with this life force…

I am welcomed and received

just as I am,

accepted and even cherished in its presence.

It is not disgusted or dissapointed in what it has found

but delights to be here with me….

and I am captivated, and overwhelmed with love.

Its thunderous voice speaks so gently to my heart

and radiates warmth into every particle and fiber of my being

claiming me as its own

branding me with its mark of fire

cleansing me with its purity.

I sit in reverent awe and in still silence

as I receive and commune with this principality

and King of all life.

My heart overflows with the strength of joy and thanksgiving

as I am renewed by this light of love

and made whole on this most beautiful of mornings.

I feel confident and empowered

to let the light shine out from within

in all its perfection

through all of my imperfections…..

and so I am made perfect in my imperfections

as I allow it to remain

allow it to be just what it is

all it was meant to be, through me….

This sun in my sky, now

the sun in my heart.

~ Celeste ~

T

Why?

As I was listening to this beautiful song this morning, the inspiration and the words came to me for this poem I have written below. Hope you enjoy.

Peering up from where I am

I stare into a night sky

So many questions I have inside

So many questions for the reasons why.

Why in my darkest hour

and in my greatest time of need

does my hope and courage fail me

does faith not my heart lead?

Why should so many souls be suffering

with such beauty all around?

Why do the warmest of hearts grow cold,

why can no compassion be found?

Why loneliness, sadness and tribulation

are the greatest teachers of all,

why in order to truly learn

the lessons must be hard.

Why the young grow old and turn to dust

life given to us and taken away

Why the dream of eternal youth

flees farther and farther each day.

Why true love’s kiss upon our brow

turns it’s back on us in disdain

Why promises are broken, what was now no more,

Our souls torn apart in torment and pain?

Oh give me just one reason why

and give me a glimmer of truth

whisper a lifetime of love in my ear

restoring what was mine in youth.

The days and the hours keep passing by

ebbing, flowing with the tide

but I will not from you drop my eyes

will not from you my fears hide.

I choose to be a reason for hope

be all my eyes behold in the skies

I choose to be an answer of love

to a world hurting and wondering why.

~ Celeste ~

Let all the answers to even our hardest questions be love, leaving no room for anything else to remain. ~ Celeste ~

The Life and Rebirth of the Eagle

About a year ago, my brother sent me this story via email. And today I just stumbled across it again on youtube, where it has been set to a lovely video with beautiful music.

This is the real , heart wrenching and inspirational story of the magnificent Eagle. This knowledge was new to me, and I cried when I first read it because it touched my heart so deeply. Their story symbolizes the choices, changes and pains we experience in our own lives, and there is something for all of us to learn from it. I believe nature speaks to everyone if we take time to listen to her voice.

And her voice through the life of this creature speaks loud and clear. As you watch and listen, I hope you will be as encouraged and blessed by it as much as I am. Enjoy.