FOOLISH HEART!

The smile on my face falters and vanishes

like the sun chasing away the remnants of morning mist

The shattering of my heart inside my chest is a searing pain

a terrifying audible sound in my ears…….

The cold, empty room banishes any lingering warmth

I had left to feel,

my warm body traded for the coldness of a corpse.

I stand there and stare at you

the shock of your words vibrating through my bones….

There is nothing I can do to stop the panic I feel

my breathing so harsh it threatens to consume me in blackness.

At this point I could turn and walk away, but I can’t

I am rooted to this very spot,

 afraid to take my eyes off of you….

afraid you will disappear with the blink of my eye.

How could you turn on me like a venomous snake,

an unthinking, unfeeling beast?

Have you come to destroy my heart and soul?

Was it your plan from the beginning to steal away

the biggest, most vulnerable part of me?

Righteous indignation now swells to bursting in my veins….

my eyes narrow and glower at my target,

fueled by the raw, aching wound of your betrayal.

I am now an unwilling captive of of this torment…

yet you stand there unscathed, unharmed and unaccountable for your actions.

I tremble with rage as I walk toward you,

but freeze before I can strike out at your face…..

I am gripped by the very love I have for you,

the love that is now a perverted, twisting plague that I know will devour me if I cannot escape it…..

It isn’t fair…..

It isn’t fair…..

You give me that small smile that used to make my knees weak

but now only makes my guts clench, making me ill….

For I know I shall never turn in my bed to see your face again

smiling at me like some beautiful angel

as the morning sun shines through the window on your face…..

No…..I cannot forgive you….not now, not yet…..

and no I cannot accept you back into my arms,

though you say you are truly sorry and profess your love…..

Where did this get me before?
What will come of me now?

Though it kills me and goes against everything inside me,

I turn and walk away…..

Away from the one person I ever loved more than life…..

My mind knowing I must get away to protect what is left of my heart,

to try and seek healing and somehow survive this…..

My heart begging me to stay and pull you in my arms, to comfort you in your regret…..

FOOLISH HEART!

I falter in my stride away from you and turn to glimpse you

one last time…..

But you are not watching,

you cannot even look me in the eye.

My heart twinges in pity and love for you and I hate myself for that…..

Just when I feel I will go back to you,

I turn and run as far and as fast as I can,

not daring to stop or look back again…..

I WILL SURVIVE….

~ Celeste ~

U.S: Stevie Nicks/Fleetwood Mac ~ ‘Gypsy’ and ‘Dreams’

I just adore Stevie Nicks! Here are two of my favorite songs by her….been listening all morning……I get goosebumps EVERY TIME I hear these songs….they are just phenomenal  and I love them…..Turn it up, sit back and chillax…. Happy Monday!

Groovy kind of Love

For the man responsible for my healing heart…..every smile, every look, and every thought of you fills me with peace and happiness…..thank you for giving me the gift of true love and showing me what it means to really live life.
I will love you forever, long after death,
and whisper your name with my last dying breath……
I love you Jeremy…. ♥

When I’m feeling blue, all I have to do
Is take a look at you, then I’m not so blue
When you’re close to me, I can feel your heart beat
I can hear you breathing in my ear
Wouldn’t you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love

Anytime you want to you can turn me onto
Anything you want to, anytime at all
When I kiss your lips, ooh I start to shiver
Can’t control the quivering inside
Wouldn’t you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love, oh

When I’m feeling blue, all I have to do
Is take a look at you, then I’m not so blue
When I’m in your arms, nothing seems to matter
My whole world could shatter, I don’t care
Wouldn’t you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love
We got a groovy kind of love
We got a groovy kind of love, oh
We got a groovy kind of love

 

The lesson of the pebble (reblog)

A sweet, endearing song that enchants the ears of the listener. A few months ago, I wrote this poem as I was listening to this song. Hope you enjoy.

At dawn she rises, a day like any other

and tries her best to force a smile

again she’ll have to reach down deep

to keep her holding on for a while.

For so long she’s had to battle

this war between her heart and mind

she had not expected in all her life

to find these walls she’d built to hide behind.

Now her sorrow had outrun her

her burden too painful to hold

the joyful song her heart had once sung

was silent and dormant in the cold.

Happiness and peace once the pillars of her soul

in all things she’d found the beauty of a rose

but her world had turned to shades of gray

this is not the life she ever would have chose.

In the still and quiet of the morning

she walked alongside a stream

and wondered why her plans had failed

and deserted her soul in a broken dream.

Beneath the water something caught her eye

a pebble the color of the bluest sky

in the midst of all the others it’s color truly showed

the beauty in it’s solitude made her want to cry.

It was a rock like all the others

it’s journey too was much the same

but in it own uniqueness it proudly laid

alone, yet it didn’t complain nor think of another to blame.

She reached down through the water

and picked up the pebble with care

she would keep it in her pocket

to remind her of her time there.

For nature had spoken and she listened with her heart

and received a lesson that day

that no matter how lonely and forgotten we feel

his love remains near to show us a way.

 

~ Celeste ~

Away from the sun (reblog)

A WORD FOR THE BROKEN, THE LONELY, AND THE SUFFERING..

There is hope

there is peace

there is light

there is understanding

there is acceptance

there is belonging

there is fellowship

there is promise

there is healing

there is comfort

there is newness of life

there is forgiveness

there is validation

there is happiness

there is laughter

there is joy

there is freedom

there is wellness

there is stability

there is warmth

there is appreciation

there are miracles

yes, these things are real

these things exist

they are attainable

 they are a gift

they are yours.

You have the key to all these things

you always have

they have been yours from the beginning

Believe it

seek it

know it

use it

share it

It is not meant to be kept to oneself or hidden

it is meant to bring love and unity to all.

It starts with you.

It starts with acceptance

It continues with your choice

It lives in your heart

It grows through your giving it away

without fear of losing it

of it not being returned.

Remember, it was yours from the beginning

BELIEVE.

Its NEVER too late……..

So lets begin and end on this note:

 

Bless everyone…..may the sun rise and set upon your precious face, and may the moonlight bring peace and comfort in your darkest nights……. Celeste <3

From me, for my friends…….

Hello, friends! I have missed everyone, missed the connection and words from your brilliant hearts and minds. All is well here, just have needed a break, a breather from my rigorous routine. I have still been writing some on the side, of course, but as you know have been absent from WordPress. My soul has been pretty quiet as far as things I feel I need to say or display publicly, though I have missed it.

Most of you know, I love a good emotional symphony. Though these are from the HP movie, the composer is gifted and in tune with the rhythmic notes of the ether, and I had to share these two fantastic pieces that I adore with you. Just stumbled across them yesterday….. I am always searching for something new that invokes the senses, emotions and creativity.

I do hope everyone is well and enjoying your creative projects. Best wishes and warm goodwill for every single, amazing artist here in the blogesphere. It is a privilege to know you and have your friendship and support. I will slowly pick up the pace from here. For if there is one thing I love, it is writing. One thing I cannot do, is forsake it’s healing elements and the soul of my inner poet. Much love to all……

Celeste

 

 

 

 

Sickness

Sadness settles a deep frost in my bones

winter’s chill forms it’s icy cage

stilling the warm blooded flow of life

encompassed through unforgiving rage.

Countenance downcast, tears follow in procession

my body bereft of your touch’s confession

pallor skin dons an ashy reflection

forbidden words fuel my kiss’s obsession.

Silence stalks from beyond the grave

it’s icy breath invades my naked skin

lost in the temptation of wanton desire

strange tides rise to drown the warmth within.

Bitter taste, the heart’s sullen due

defender of elusive beasts

unearth the remnant of reserved discretion

a dance upon the table of feasts.

Walking in darkness my madness pervades

the hungry flesh I no longer feel

anxious to purge mortality’s bonds

a cup runneth over the soul’s zeal.

Bleeding out the tired distain

hope unfurled is love unrestrained

conjuring tendrils of hell’s consuming ire

usurping the power of lasting refrain.

Hell’s sickness shadows my eyes

the windows of my soul glaze over

laid to rest in dreams of youthful glee

I sleep in the hand that watches over me.

Song of my soul

There is a song that is written just for me

I hear it playing, crooning so beautifully

it strums over my heart igniting my soul

restoring the passion my enemy stole.

Sizzling sound waves lap me in sensual lush

my blood pumping forth in a dizzying rush

purging my mind from worldly dissent

cleansing a heart that was utterly spent.

The melody ushers in delightful sensation

worships my body in it’s godly creation

with me sharing secrets that have never been told

my hips sway in rhythm to a ballad of old.

At one with the music that graces the night

I dance with my heart and all of my might

conjuring the elements in breathless desire

all the earth burns for a taste of my fire.

I dance here below but am joined with the spirits

their presence so close to mine I can feel it

I am ushered into their ravishing power

In return my euphoria on them I shower.

~ Celeste ~

Triumphant return

I close my eyes

let the quiet settle inside

let the peace guide me

to the still passages of the night.

A sound so sweet to my ears

so pure to reach my heart and soul

it’s sound waves tingle over my skin

suspending me in fluid air.

A tug on my hearts compassion

a momentary outburst

a flood of tears erupt

as I weep for something I have not seen

a thing yet lost and not found.

I feel the heartbeat of the universe

the breath of destruction and creation

the death and birth of nebulas and stars

such beauty and power found

in the cloak of the night.

I am no longer afraid

of this present darkness

the fear and turmoil have tried me

and failed…

there is nothing too horrendous and ugly

nothing so far from the reach

of a saving hand of grace.

On the balcony of my high tower

my eyes travel over the surrounding, majestic seas

a cold, bitter wind lashes my face and through my  hair

and threatens to slice me to my heart

as I think of the long voyages made

by many sailors and warriors

that have fought for and protected my life.

I will welcome their weathered and battle weary souls

with a feast and celebration in their honor

for their bravery and steadfast loyalty.

Should their heart’s desire be for home

I shall send them on their way with goodwill

and with my blessing they shall tarry no more

so far away from their homeland.

And if it be their desire to stay

they will be welcomed and rein as lords and ladies

over the lands they have fought to protect

with so much love in their hearts.

They have stood by me without wavering

not questioning my will

nor my words or resolve.

They kept me true in their hearts

in the most sacred of places

and saw me as I was.

They were never deceived nor surprised

my my intentions or motivations.

They are more than great warriors

they are forever my truest of friends.

~ Celeste ~

Haiku

Sunlight on sheets tangled around four legs

soft giggles and nipping on earlobes

smiling memories of the night before.

Haiku

Heavy lids awaken to a sunny room

stretching, I stir from a peaceful slumber

smiling as bacon and coffee greet my nose.

Black Hole Sun, Won’t You Come?

This poem was inspired by this old favorite song. I am turning back the pages with this one, recalling a time from my past….hence, reflecting on personal growth and progress….

Black hole sun, won’t you come

and purge the earth anew

swallow up the evil that lives

chop down the weeds that grew.

Black hole sun, won’t you come

and take the liar away

display your power for all to see

obliterate the thief that steals the day.

Black hole sun, won’t you come

to make your judgements known

castrate the fear moving among us

vindicate those whose light has shone.

Black hole sun, wont you come

to punish the empire of death

and cleanse the rot that defiles the air

with the devastating winds of your breath.

~ Celeste ~

Haiku

All alone, only angels see me

pouring out my heart through dance

as I twirl under the full moon.

Hunger, Love, and a grateful heart…….

A quote by Chief Dan George

“When Christ said that man does not live by bread alone, he spoke of a hunger. This hunger was not the hunger of the body. It was not the hunger for bread. He spoke of a hunger that begins deep down in the very depths of our being. He spoke of a need as vital as breath. He spoke of our hunger for love.

Love is something you and I must have. We must have it because our spirit feeds upon it. We must have it because without it we become weak and faint. Without love our self-esteem weakens. Without it our courage fails. Without love we can no longer look out confidently at the world…

But with love, we are creative. With it, we march tirelessly. With it, and with it alone, we are able to sacrifice for others.”

Chief Dan George

You would not know this if I did not say it, but I just erased an hour worth of writing and editing of my thoughts and feelings about this quote. But, I realize that my words only muddled the experience, and really nothing more needs to be said by me. Today, I will contemplate on his love, and give thanks for who he is and who I am in him. I will thank him for filling me with the love I so desperately need everyday of my life. I will thank him for every opportunity to to have a breath to experience this wonderful world, to know the peace and the joy that comes simply by knowing him, holding him close to my heart. He is the greatest lover, brother, father, and friend, and I owe my life and all I am to him. He has literally saved my life from certain death, more than once. Not just spiritually, but physically too. By my own hand to take my own life, and from others who would wish to harm me……I am in a delicate and vulnerable place today, but I will use it as an opportunity to strengthen my roots and grow closer still to the source of my life, my Lord, my hero. I do not need to be afraid….though right now I am fragile, I will not break….and if I break he is able to piece me together….and if I break, let it be for his glory. Today, I will rejoice and be glad in this new day, another day to be alive and know love. I hope everyone has a blessed day filled with comfort and love as you go about your daily activities. Some time today, stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and send up a thank you, a grateful heart, as an offering for such a beautiful, phenomenal life……..

~ Celeste ~

If I die young….

Every time I hear this song, I am moved to tears….it rings truth through my soul and urgency through my veins…and it is close to my heart from my own personal trials and painful losses….the song carries an innocence and powerful conviction for the gift of life and the frailty of our mortality….I have written out the beautiful lyrics for you and I know you will be blessed as you give a few moments to hear the message….bless each one of you as you reflect on the value and preciousness of your life and as you carry on throughout your day….Namaste….

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She’ll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain’t always what you think it ought to be, no
ain’t even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

And I’ll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I’m as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I’ve never known the lovin’ of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There’s a boy here in town says he’ll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you’re dead how people start listenin’

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need ‘em oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls