A journey through the darkness (reblog)

May I have your attention

please lend me your ear

and hear a true story

of a night that lasted years.

Lost in a dark and dreary place

I was trapped in my own prison

I could not admit or accept the fact

this undoing had been my decision.

My eyes now glazed over

and my hearing grown dull

I waited and searched for an uncomparable gift

but my heart the deceiver had lulled.

Trying to find my way back home

on knees I crawled battered and bruised

Oh why has grace removed itself far from me,

my soul is continually refused.

Oh bright and shining, morning star

I ask you to show me the way

please help my eyes to see the light

and turn this darkness to day.

When my words had run out, I ended my pleas

and I lifted up my eyes

a beacon of light was beckoning me

and it lit up a path from the skies.

The ice on my heart began to melt

a new warmth I felt within

healing the wounds that were there for so long

assuring me I was forgiven for my sins.

Just then I heard a voice

speaking straight to me…

“Never again fear the darkness of night,

trust in my way and you will be free.

For it is in the darkness

that the light you seek burns bright,

an aide to help you along the way

to keep you fighting the good fight.”

My spirit renewed, I gave thanks in silent awe

the gift of grace had returned,

It’s roots now deeper than ever before

to preserve in me all that I’d learned.

written by Celeste

Waiting

Surrounded by warmth and light

as the sun’s radiance

shines down it’s loving beams upon me.

I rest in peaceful pastures and think of you

longing and waiting for you

to return back to me.

I squish my toes in the soft grass

as I try to find comfort and solace

for my aching heart.

I close my eyes and turn inward

to the place that grounds my

airborne soul…

Always searching, always wandering

always waiting, yearning….

for love to bring back

the other half of my heart.

Out there somewhere in the infinite skies

floating by the planets and stars

seeking, looking, wanting….

only to have it’s voice come back

with endless echos of mourning.

Oh that you would send an angel

to absorb some of the pain

a touch of momentary relief

for the soreness in my heart.

Nevertheless,

for you I shall wait

no other can compare.

One look at you on that fateful day

sealed my fate for eternity.

So here I am

in peaceful pastures

resting, waiting

for a world with you in it

a world without end.

~ Celeste ~

Song of my soul

There is a song that is written just for me

I hear it playing, crooning so beautifully

it strums over my heart igniting my soul

restoring the passion my enemy stole.

Sizzling sound waves lap me in sensual lush

my blood pumping forth in a dizzying rush

purging my mind from worldly dissent

cleansing a heart that was utterly spent.

The melody ushers in delightful sensation

worships my body in it’s godly creation

with me sharing secrets that have never been told

my hips sway in rhythm to a ballad of old.

At one with the music that graces the night

I dance with my heart and all of my might

conjuring the elements in breathless desire

all the earth burns for a taste of my fire.

I dance here below but am joined with the spirits

their presence so close to mine I can feel it

I am ushered into their ravishing power

In return my euphoria on them I shower.

~ Celeste ~

Great expectations

I hear a voice call out my name

and speak to a hidden love untamed

my sleeping heart called forth to life

my soul is whisked away from strife.

I hear a heart that beats for mine

a longing for a love divine

a plea to calm the calamity

a touch to restore it’s sanity.

I sense a mind reach out for me

to partake in my blessed divinity

to claim a portion for it’s own

to bask in love to it made known.

I feel the force of gaping needs

that beg me to set the prisoners free

to loosen the bonds that keep them chained

to know the joy of mercy ordained.

I see the mass of human kind

walking to and fro, paying no mind

unaware of the great potential they bear

living, but not knowing what is there.

~ Celeste ~

Triumphant return

I close my eyes

let the quiet settle inside

let the peace guide me

to the still passages of the night.

A sound so sweet to my ears

so pure to reach my heart and soul

it’s sound waves tingle over my skin

suspending me in fluid air.

A tug on my hearts compassion

a momentary outburst

a flood of tears erupt

as I weep for something I have not seen

a thing yet lost and not found.

I feel the heartbeat of the universe

the breath of destruction and creation

the death and birth of nebulas and stars

such beauty and power found

in the cloak of the night.

I am no longer afraid

of this present darkness

the fear and turmoil have tried me

and failed…

there is nothing too horrendous and ugly

nothing so far from the reach

of a saving hand of grace.

On the balcony of my high tower

my eyes travel over the surrounding, majestic seas

a cold, bitter wind lashes my face and through my  hair

and threatens to slice me to my heart

as I think of the long voyages made

by many sailors and warriors

that have fought for and protected my life.

I will welcome their weathered and battle weary souls

with a feast and celebration in their honor

for their bravery and steadfast loyalty.

Should their heart’s desire be for home

I shall send them on their way with goodwill

and with my blessing they shall tarry no more

so far away from their homeland.

And if it be their desire to stay

they will be welcomed and rein as lords and ladies

over the lands they have fought to protect

with so much love in their hearts.

They have stood by me without wavering

not questioning my will

nor my words or resolve.

They kept me true in their hearts

in the most sacred of places

and saw me as I was.

They were never deceived nor surprised

my my intentions or motivations.

They are more than great warriors

they are forever my truest of friends.

~ Celeste ~

Dark lover (part two)

Please read part one first before reading this. It is the post right before this one….also remember these are first drafts, I wrote these first two parts within a couple of hours….I know they still need some work….thanks and enjoy!

*erotic content*

Now in the confines of his chambers

this entity now my dark lord

and lover

he materializes before me

and my eyes see him for the first time.

I gasp aloud

and am taken back

by the sheer menacing darkness

radiating around him.

He is frightful to behold

his sharp features penetrating

and terrifying, god like.

But at the same time

he was so beautiful to behold

having a sensual cruelty to his handsome features

that cut through me to the center

of my being.

His long dark hair carried

the scents of the night,

alive like the night

and his eyes were a striking emerald green

with flecks of golden light

and red flames that flickered in their depths.

And turbulent, raging passion churned within them,

all for me.

The thought of this sent my heart into a gallop

and left my already overwhelmed mind

reeling some more.

 I can do nothing but stare

at this magnificent creature

this man who now holds my soul.

And he is staring right back at me

still as a stone.

Delicious anticipation charges the air

both our desires running wild.

He strides like a panther

coming to stand just inches from me

the air becoming electrified

as we stood so close.

With a long nail he cuts an opening in his chest

and he offered his blood for me to drink.

Instead of repulsion my appetite grew

and saliva built up in my mouth

craving the rich taste of him.

The heat between my thighs now

felt like liquid fire

a hot spring of inferno…

and I wanted all of him right then and there

and then some.

I wanted to take all he was

as much as I could fit inside my body and being.

In response to my thoughts

a sinister laugh escaped his full lips

booming and echoing throughout the underground chambers

for he knows I am his and cannot refuse him.

I press my lips to the cut on his chest

and let a little of the warmth seep in my mouth

and like a whirlwind hunger punched me in the gut

and I drank deeply from him.

A hiss escaped from his lips

and he threw back his head

and roared

rocking the structures surrounding us

and quaking my insides like a tempest.

As I drink I am filled with ecstasy

the sensations so dizzying I can barely contain them.

Raw power and erotic bliss found and filled every wound

strengthening me

and radiated from every pore.

He snaked his strong arm around me and

wound his long fingers through my hair

pressing me harder to him.

I reciprocated the gesture by drinking harder and faster

and his breathing grew to a heavy pant,

a smile of pain mixed with pleasure on his face.

Too soon he broke away from me,

Black blood dribbling down his chest

and staining the earth beneath us.

 I licked up every last bit that

had strewn down to his hard stomach

making him hiss yet again

and shutter almost violently.

Immediately he picked me up effortlessly

and licked the corners of my mouth clean…

and then he kissed me hard

his tongue claiming every inch of my mouth.

Things were about to get even hotter

and I wondered if I could handle all of this,

all of him.

Only one way to find out.

And when he began kissing my neck with ferocity

his hard length thickening against my abdomen

I knew I was up for the challenge….

Stay tuned for part three….

~ Celeste ~

Related articles

• Dark lover (part one) (celestealluvial.wordpress.com)

Dark lover (part one)

I am beside myself with the joy of venting through this avenue of dark erotic fiction….I had so much fun writing this and felt every word…..I invite you to join me on this journey, and introduce this erotic treat to your senses….enjoy…..

*Erotic content*….

As I lie broken and frail

my mortality eats away at my soul

consumes me.

Weary of my pain

and restless nights

I lie awake

too afraid to dream the nightmares

again

so I listen to the sounds of the night

through my open window.

An enticing aroma enters

on a breeze that blows

through the curtains and

the moonlight streams in

casting an eerie glow in my room.

I hear a voice whispering my name

outside my window and

I begin to sense a heat

growing and blooming

between my thighs

that leaves me wanting more.

A gnawing desire envelopes

my senses

as a male’s voice

beckons me to answer

and invite him in.

Fear tries to hold me

and good sense tells me

to stay quiet

and it will pass.

But God, I cannot help myself….

As the heat between my legs

continues to burn

 I let my body’s need overwhelm me

and drive away any and all will

I had left to resist this temptation.

Though I can see nothing

I feel the moist heat of his breath

against the creamy skin of my neck

and hear him breathe in deeply

taking in my fragrance and

growing wild on my scent.

His growl fills the room

and I sense him quiver

as his fangs scrape my neck

and a trickle of blood escapes.

He chases the drop with his tongue

as it travels between my bare breast

and captures it with a single

lap of his tongue.

Giddy, I begin to imagine

his tongue in other places

and I am instantly removed

so far from reality my head spins.

“Yesssssss” he hisses in my ear

as images fill my mind

of us entangled in heated consummation.

He promises me relief from my pain

fulfillment of my desires

and his companionship in place

of my loneliness.

A streak of lightening

and booming thunder shakes

the foundations of the earth

and my heart.

And I give my soul over to him.

He wants me for himself

and I cannot help but want him too

for I sense a familiar loneliness

in his black heart,

an ancient loneliness and despair

greater only to my own.

I long to fill the abyss of nothing

he carries with him

fill the black emptiness

of this soulless being.

As if answering my thoughts

a hand appears before me

from out of the darkness

and I consent to join him

placing my hand inside of his,

this erotic creature of the night so familiar

yet a stranger to me.

Stay tuned for part two…….

~ Celeste ~

The lesson of the pebble

I know I just posted this song just a bit ago, but as I was listening to it again, the words for a poem came to me, so I decided to repost this song to this poem….hope everyone will enjoy it….

At dawn she rises, a day like any other

and tries her best to force a smile

again she’ll have to reach down deep

to keep her holding on for a while.

For so long she’s had to battle

this war between her heart and mind

she had not expected in all her life

to find these walls she’d built to hide behind.

Now her sorrow had outrun her

her burden too painful to hold

the joyful song her heart had once sung

was silent and dormant in the cold.

Happiness and peace once the pillars of her soul

in all things she’d found the beauty of a rose

but her world had turned to shades of gray

this is not the life she ever would have chose.

In the still and quiet of the morning

she walked alongside a stream

and wondered why her plans had failed

and deserted her soul in a broken dream.

Beneath the water something caught her eye

a pebble the color of the bluest sky

in the midst of all the others it’s color truly showed

the beauty in it’s solitude made her want to cry.

It was a rock like all the others

it’s journey too was much the same

but in it own uniqueness it proudly laid

alone, yet it didn’t complain nor think of another to blame.

She reached down through the water

and picked up the pebble with care

she would keep it in her pocket

to remind her of her time there.

For nature had spoken and she listened with her heart

and received a lesson that day

that no matter how lonely and forgotten we feel

his love remains near to show us a way.

~ Celeste ~

Discovering Heaven

At the peak of the mountain stands my soul, joy exuding from every pore…from the top of my lungs a shout of victory and jubilation, and the sound is carried on the winds and scattered throughout the earth and upwards into space, settling peacefully like a soft winter snow, in smooth molecular spheres that shine like ivory pearls. Infused with the strength of a thousand men, I feel as though I could split open the atmosphere and bring the heavens down to the earth.

For today I heard a voice, beheld a marvelous truth….a reflection in the mirror of my soul…and although I now understand how I have always felt it there, I had no words to help me comprehend it or speak of it. I believe some truths are such that they remain hidden until the one who bears it is ready to receive it, able to hold it and carry it respectfully. And now I see for myself a truth for me, and I believe….

My faith has made a momentous leap, grown a proud measure….

Blessed be thy name, lord of glory…..

A day like any other, my reflection in the mirror….but what I see is not what I expect….

But my good father standing there with outstretched arms….. and I know his arms have always been open for me, but this reflection, the image WAS ME…..

The love of the father for me, living in me, rushing through my veins, has now become ME.

It is alive and flowing out of my outstretched arms and out into the world, acknowledging, accepting, giving, believing….willing and unafraid, believing in love eternal, unconditional.

And with a twinkle in his infinite, knowing eyes, he smiled at me……

and that smile spread across my soul, opening it deep and wide, filling each empty space with love, warming my every nerve and fiber, searching out and occupying my every thought…

And the tears that followed were healing waters, washing away the debris of a fractured soul, the jagged remains of the thorny cathedral walls of a dark kingdom’s demise….now all washed away…..

How the revelation has changed my perception….all the good that I have grown to be came from a childlike faith…..my inner child watching and mimicking her heavenly father….the one only seen with the eyes of her heart….

it came by perceiving and accepting his everlasting love for her, loving and believing in her still in all her wrongs and shortcomings, even when everyone else had failed her and left her to feel as though she was not worthy of love……

yet she held on to him still and chose to believe….not even hell itself could convince her to let go, or deceive her away from her birth right! Many times it was all she had, the only reason she had to remain here and continue the journey….he must need her here else why would she be here?

So, in the end, that was good enough for her. So through hellfire, tribulation and pain she endured,…for something she could not see or touch, but only feel with her heart…endured for even just the hope of  what she felt inside.

And for that the father rejoiced and wept with joy…..For an empty place in his own heart was now filled, a sorrow now healed over. He was proud of her and touched by her faith….for she had kept going when she had no earthly reason, no evidence to back up her actions or proof to help support her human frailties….

And so he rewarded her this day, making her a princess and ruler of her own right…..he entrusted her with his belongings and knew she would care for them and lead others into the same light of love…..

What a blessing to see with my own eyes, to know beyond a doubt….that the truth deep down is real, the things hoped for are possible, and dreams do become reality…..and this true to life fairytale is only just beginning….there is a story just like this for everyone…..the gift of a dream waiting to be realized, opened and lived….this is heaven on earth….

We do not need to wait for death to live in heaven. No, the reality of heaven is now, in the present, in this moment….this is how it was always meant to be lived…..it is not just a place, but an eternity, one that we are already in….a perpetual state of reality, the reality of now….heaven is a perspective, a realization, something felt, something discovered…..we do not need to wait for our eyes to see, for they are already open….heaven is where your heart is….heaven is home…..heaven is here, and it is now.

~ Celeste ~

 

• “Peace Mirror” ~Inspirations with Linda Willows (lindawillows.wordpress.com)
• A Reflection of You A Reflection of Me (aninspiredapproach.com)

 

Heaven

This is such a beautiful, inspirational, upbeat and uplifting song. I get goosebumps every time I hear it. I cannot say enough good things about it, so listen for yourself and be blessed…..

 

Hunger, Love, and a grateful heart…….

A quote by Chief Dan George

“When Christ said that man does not live by bread alone, he spoke of a hunger. This hunger was not the hunger of the body. It was not the hunger for bread. He spoke of a hunger that begins deep down in the very depths of our being. He spoke of a need as vital as breath. He spoke of our hunger for love.

Love is something you and I must have. We must have it because our spirit feeds upon it. We must have it because without it we become weak and faint. Without love our self-esteem weakens. Without it our courage fails. Without love we can no longer look out confidently at the world…

But with love, we are creative. With it, we march tirelessly. With it, and with it alone, we are able to sacrifice for others.”

Chief Dan George

You would not know this if I did not say it, but I just erased an hour worth of writing and editing of my thoughts and feelings about this quote. But, I realize that my words only muddled the experience, and really nothing more needs to be said by me. Today, I will contemplate on his love, and give thanks for who he is and who I am in him. I will thank him for filling me with the love I so desperately need everyday of my life. I will thank him for every opportunity to to have a breath to experience this wonderful world, to know the peace and the joy that comes simply by knowing him, holding him close to my heart. He is the greatest lover, brother, father, and friend, and I owe my life and all I am to him. He has literally saved my life from certain death, more than once. Not just spiritually, but physically too. By my own hand to take my own life, and from others who would wish to harm me……I am in a delicate and vulnerable place today, but I will use it as an opportunity to strengthen my roots and grow closer still to the source of my life, my Lord, my hero. I do not need to be afraid….though right now I am fragile, I will not break….and if I break he is able to piece me together….and if I break, let it be for his glory. Today, I will rejoice and be glad in this new day, another day to be alive and know love. I hope everyone has a blessed day filled with comfort and love as you go about your daily activities. Some time today, stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and send up a thank you, a grateful heart, as an offering for such a beautiful, phenomenal life……..

~ Celeste ~

The Fall

Weightless, through the void I roam

frozen, heart of flesh turned to stone

the colors of my mind have flown

robbed of all I call my own.

Empty, the world is blotted out

blackened, every passage, every route

the flowers of hope now seeds of doubt

fear now replacing where faith did sprout.

Chaos, all peace has been slain

lost, my steps go against the grain

home is a desire longed for in vain

hopelessness has established it’s reign.

Dark lord, behold him and despair

tyranny, the principality of the air

seeks to destroy all that is fair

his lies lure the weak into his lair.

Dreaming, I hear my masters call

drawing me back from the dark ones gall

breaking the bonds of his deadly enthrall

awake from the nightmare, I rise from the fall.

~ Celeste ~

Lost

Beautiful though the day may be

something is amiss

don’t feel like me in spite of myself

I’m bereft of the angels kiss.

Too long have I been dwelling

in an unfamiliar place

too long have I been missing

 the light upon my face.

Body wrenched in menacing pain

I’m stuck like a bump on a log

the rhythmic tones of my soul are

unreachable through the fog.

Who is this plundering stranger inside

this foreigner with steely chains

raiding my storehouse and binding my strength

ghostly remnants of me estranged.

Haunted visions of veiled faces

the reflection of the mirror lies

I try to remember the words given to me

I must believe though they be in disguise.

~ Celeste ~

Your fire, my heart’s desire

Speak the words that ignite the flame

and without flinching, nor a sideways glance

though my heart does tremble, for you I wait

as your fire prompts my feet to dance.

In painful consummation my voice may wail

and down my cheeks tears leave their trail

yet I will trust in you forever without fail

your fire strengthening my heart so frail.

Though mortal fear seizes my hopes and dreams

and I cannot see what is after the end

the light of your fire is a lamp for my feet

the consort of pain my teacher and friend.

Oh search me, know me, and cleanse me with truth

fanning passion for your purging fire

all my pearls and flaws too, I lay open for you

I will stand still in the judgement and not expire.

For your strength I desire, and your heart I require

all that makes me your own

keep me alight with your flame of life

so much glory to me have you shown.

May I be counted worthy and true

a jewel set in your crown

through trial and turmoil, wickedness and strife

may all my words be a pleasing sound.

My earthen vessel I’ve emptied, now offered up to you

fill it to overflowing, and send me out into the night

a quest for my King, a message to man

my battle armor ready, I stand willing to fight.

I close my eyes and breathe you in

your face is all I can see

I invite you inside, my lord and king

rest your fire upon me, make known your decree.

Though shadows fall, and terror descends

I stand here before you, I will not flee

steadied by your words, I will trust in your love

as I watch and wait for your glory.

~ Celeste ~

Birthday reflections and blessings….

Today I turn 34, and as I sit reflecting back on my life, the good and the not so good, I am finding something positive in everything. It is never too late to mentally review and recall past memories, especially painful ones, and find something good that came from it. We can help ourselves along in the healing process in this way, going back in time to touch a younger version of ourselves with the present knowledge we have gained, embracing ourselves as a child, accepting, relearning, and practicing self forgiveness….I know these things work because I have done them.

So I wanted to share some positive words of encouragement with you today, and pass along my own birthday blessings and wishes to you. I could not think of a better way to celebrate and share the love!

So, here they are, a few of my favorite quotes, poems and photos for you to enjoy. Everyone have a great day and be blessed and prosper in all you do.

Namaste.

To realize

 The value of a sister/brother

 Ask someone

 Who doesn’t have one.

 To realize

 The value of four years:

 Ask a graduate.

 To realize

 The value of nine months:

 Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

 To realize

 The value of one month:

 Ask a mother

 Who has given birth to a premature baby..

 To realize

 The value of one week:

 Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

 To realize

 The value of one minute:

 Ask a person

 Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

 To realize

 The value of one-second:

 Ask a person

 Who has survived an accident.

 Time waits for no one.

 Treasure every moment you have.

 You will treasure it even more when

 You can share it with someone special.

 To realize the value of a friend or family member:

 LOSE ONE.

 Remember….

 Hold on tight to the ones you love!

 Our world is special because YOU are in it-

We all hit a time when we’ve lost hope and need someone to put their arms around us and say, “I’ve got you right now. I won’t let you face this alone.

Bear Hug!

  Whatever our hands touch -
We leave fingerprints!
On walls, on furniture
On doorknobs, dishes, books.
There’s no escape.
As we touch we leave our identity.

Wherever I go today
Help me leave heartprints!
Heartprints of compassion
Of understanding and love.

Heartprints of kindness
And genuine concern.
May my heart touch a lonely neighbor
Or a runaway daughter
Or an anxious mother
Or perhaps an aged grandfather.

Send me out today
To leave heartprints.
And if someone should say,
“I felt your touch,”
May they also sense the love
that is deep within my heart.

~ author unknown ~

IN REMEMBRANCE

Serene and beautiful and very wise,

Most erudite in curious Grecian lore,

You lay and read your learned books, and bore

A weight of unshed tears and silent sighs.

The song within your heart could never rise

Until love bade it spread its wings and soar.

Nor could you look on Beauty’s face before

A poet’s burning mouth had touched your eyes. 

Love is made out of ecstasy and wonder;

Love is a poignant and accustomed pain.

It is a burst of Heaven-shaking thunder;

It is a linnet’s fluting after rain.

Love’s voice is through your song; above and under

And in each note to echo and remain. 

II 

Because Mankind is glad and brave and young,

Full of gay flames that white and scarlet glow,

All joys and passions that Mankind may know

By you were nobly felt and nobly sung.

Because Mankind’s heart every day is wrung

By Fate’s wild hands that twist and tear it so,

Therefore you echoed Man’s undying woe,

A harp Aeolian on Life’s branches hung. 

So did the ghosts of toiling children hover

About the piteous portals of your mind;

Your eyes, that looked on glory, could discover

The angry scar to which the world was blind:

And it was grief that made Mankind your lover,

And it was grief that made you love Mankind. 

III 

Before Christ left the Citadel of Light,

To tread the dreadful way of human birth,

His shadow sometimes fell upon the earth

And those who saw it wept with joy and fright.

“Thou art Apollo, than the sun more bright!”

They cried. “Our music is of little worth,

But thrill our blood with thy creative mirth

Thou god of song, thou lord of lyric might!”.

 

O singing pilgrim! who could love and follow

Your lover Christ, through even love’s despair,

You knew within the cypress-darkened hollow

The feet that on the mountain are so fair.

For it was Christ that was your own Apollo,

And thorns were in the laurel on your hair. 

JOYCE KILMER

 

REMEMBER TO SMILE, AND HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY!